Letters
The Parenting Debate
Sarita Sarvate and Amy Chua (“Tiger Mom”) seem to miss the critical importance of the social and cultural milieu in which children are parented (Let Children be Children, March 2011). The same parenting style that works well in family-centric cultures such as in China or India may not work so well in an individual-centric culture such as in America. Whereas a person’s identity in the family-centric Chinese society is inextricably intertwined with that of his family, even a young dependent child in America is deemed to have a fully independent identity.
All children need some discipline because their natural instinct is to seek sensory gratification and avoid any discomfort. In family-centric Asian cultures, parents have always defined and enforced such a discipline. In the United States, the responsibility for such a discipline apparently shifted in the 1970s from the parents to school teachers and sports coaches. The teachers, however, are often ill-prepared and ill-equipped for this responsibility.
Although too much discipline (or pressure to succeed) can make some children defiant, depressed or discouraged, too little discipline can likewise make some children into school dropouts, drug addicts, or juvenile criminals. To be really effective, parents need strong social reinforcement for their parenting style whatever that style may be. When children see their peers experiencing similar discipline as themselves, they are less likely to be defiant or depressed.
Being a driven mom like Chua is hard work. In family-centric cultures, raising good children is viewed as a long-term investment in the social, emotional, and financial future of the family. On the other hand, in individual-centric cultures, especially one where people rely on government support (e.g., social security and Medicare) in the old age, raising children itself may be viewed as an onerous or nonessential enterprise.
Indeed, with ever-increasing emphasis on individualism, and with more women pursuing serious careers, birth rates in the United States (and Europe) are falling to all-time lows. If this trend continues, highly individualistic cultures and communities may become largely irrelevant to this parenting debate.
Vijay Gupta, Cupertino, CA
What Makes a Hindu?
Reading through the perspectives (Time to Stop Assimilation?, March 2011) and Q & A (The Impact of Hinduism on the West, March 2011) articles, I find it curious how much investment is made in the word “Hindu” by your writers. I suppose such a designation of Indian culture, accepted by its adherents, bespeaks of their liberality and sense of philosophical security which allows for varying angles of perception regarding reality ... and even themselves!
Dharma is not something one applies upon a person; it is something that flows from within one. Herd designations are simply inappropriate. Personality types and stages of spiritual advancement (like acquired education) can be found across religious, racial, national and even gender classifications. That is why varna and ashram best assess the qualifications of an individual and are totally non-sectarian.
And this is why the caste system of India is corrupt. Rather than perceiving the universality of Sanatana Dharma, some who claim to be Hindu see caste as something inherited and parochial. Wise people of any religion understand that all beings have a relationship with God—an atheist, too!—as a part to the whole. Who but the “Hindu” has such an ideal idea as their principal principle?
Roy Richard, Culver City, CA
Preserving Hindu Culture is Important
I fully agree with Amit Majmudar (Time to Stop Assimilation?, March 2011) that we need to preserve Hindu culture here in the United States. Concerted efforts in literature and the arts is one way. We need much more than that. What we need is a Hindu advocacy group or groups. Hindu culture is being misrepresented and ignored knowingly and unknowingly. One example is how Hinduism is being depicted in the text books throughout the country. We have only one Hindu advocacy group now in the whole country, the Hindu American Foundation (http://www.hafsite.org) doing yeoman’s job in this area. We must support organizations such as this one.
Just building more Hindu temples is not enough. It appears that we support building more and more temples and neglecting the main issue. Who will go to these temples in another 50 or 100 years if Hindu culture is not maintained and nourished here?
Subru Bhat, Union City, CA
Donate to India
This is in reference to the article (Should Desis Donate Locally or to Causes in India?, March 2011).
The story goes that once devas (holy men), rakshasas (devils) and humans went to the Prajapati (the Creator). He blessed them with the syllable “da.”
The devas took “da” to mean daman (control of the senses), the rakshasas daya (kindness), and the humans daan (donation) respectively.
According to ancient Indian traditions, every earning person must donate 10 % of his/her income to religious or social causes. Out of the four ashrams(stages of life), three—brahmacharya (studenthood), vanprastha (retirement), and sanyasa (renunciations)—survive on public donations. The second, grahastha ashram (the life of a householder), supports the other three ashrams through donations, consequently it has been rated the best amongst the four stages.
I believe NRis should first donate to their motherland (janmabhoomi) and then to their country of work (karmabhoomi). After all, if a person is not born, he can hardly be expected to work.
Madan Lal Gupta, Sacramento, CA
Congratulations on 25 years!
My heartiest congratulations to India Currents for completing 25 years!
In recent years, with the economy going south, and the print media being particularly affected, India Currents has done a commendable job of holding on to its own and thriving in such a challenging environment.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that India Currents has been one of the pillars of the Indian diaspora in the region.
I have always appreciated India Currents’ resolve to eschew the sensational and the trite (the usual masala!) in favor of substantive, respectable, and inspirational content that is socially relevant and needed.
We have enjoyed our partnership with India Currents for content syndication and for the Katha Fiction Contest which has now become an annual tradition that diaspora writers look forward to.
Here’s wishing you many more years of success and service!
Parthiv Parekh, editor, Khabar
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Comments
Sir,In 1972, many countries from around the worldcame together to form a treaty to ban biological weapons.[http://projects.sipri.se/cbw/docs/bw-btwc-mainpage.html]In 2001, the US rejected the attempt to introducea monitoring mechanism to this protocol because theydid not want to allow inspectors access to their ownlaboratories.[http://www.europarl.eu.int/gue/tree/news/en/resol/011114-1en.htm]An article in "The Guardian" in Oct 2002 cites Malcolm Dando,at the University of Bradford, and Mark Wheelis,a lecturer in microbiology at the University of California,who say that the US itself is actively developingbiological weapons.[http://www.guardian.co.uk/Print/0,3858,4534310,00.html]Isn't it ironic and not a little hypocriticalto hear Colin Powell ranting and raving at the UN about howeveryone should line up behind the US attempts to bomb Iraq becauseIraq is now recalcitrant and dodging to do something whichthe US openly refused to do so recently? Whatever happenedto the saying: "practice what you preach"?Arul Francis
this all are totaly stupid. I do`nt belive with you man.
Excellent. We urge serious dialogue on "Dharma and Governance" The present self seeking political system is destroying India. A movement by NRIs for good governance is needed.SK Sharma
After India opened its economy, vulgar wealth in cities alongside abject poverty in villages difting into urban slums has increased. NRIs are urged to raise voice against India's destructive centralised political system. Thank you
In agreement to your discussion panel concerning the treatment of Moslems (especially in the United States...after the fact)It is an outrage...not that our family speaks-of the hypocracies associated to those who do not "understand"-we do. Memebers of our family are no-longer married because of associated problems in the Middle East,not because those members of our family were not good and decent peoples;but because the American public in this Country didn't respect the naturalization process.The Hindu's in the family are doing very well, yet the Egyptian/Arab MOSLEMS by marriage are still being persecuted for "migration" to this Country in sight for a better opportunity at a better life.And we are a non-Media family. "Definitely Sleepless in Seattle". If it wasn't for WEst Seattle Hospital & Kaiser Hospital of SAnta Clara...we would all be crazy!
da vinci code shows women's suffering due to gender discrmination in religious sector.
I would like to see articles about the tech industry of India. I am also interested in current trends regarding technology. ANy and all information regarding new innovation within medical, automotive, or computer related industries of India would be fascinating and timely.India has many large industries. The rapid growth of both automotive and computer industries are only 2 examples of India's creativity. I would also like to know about interesting dotcoms coming out of India or created by Indian expats.
In response to G. Subbuswamy ("without trying to sound like a bigot"), a bigot is exactly how you sound. I--a white American woman from a liberal Christian background--have been married 23 years to a South Asian--non-practicing Roman Catholic, family background of keepers of the Hanuman temple. As a child, he observed his Hindu grandfather picking enough flowers for his own morning worship with some to spare for his Catholic wife to keep for her morning rosary. While the children were raised Catholic (one becoming a priest), half married back into Hindu families. My husband's other grandmother, Hindu, would chase him outside if he had been eating or drinking milk from the paddy workers' kitchen; he was not ritually pure. So much for universal claims of tolerance or intolerance in religion. What counts is how you treat other people, not the specifics of how you view your allegiance to your god. It has been my observation that those who are passionate about their chosen religion should seek a mate from that same orientation. It is madness to marry outside one's faith and then squawk about how unfair it is when another set of practices supercedes one's own. Most longterm mixed marriages (whether it is a mixture of religion, culture or race) work because both people are interested in creating a new way to be together that does not compete for supremacy. My own in-laws' initial reluctance to accept my husband's intention to marry me had more to do with fear of the unknown, loss of status in the community and grief over the almost certain future separation from their son and his presumed children (since it would be unlikely we would be able to reunite with them in Sri Lanka very often). The idea that any grandchildren would be so disrespectful as to insult their grandparents flies in the face of the experience of most mixed families. For every misguided fundamentalist Christian howling about idol worshipers, there are intolerant Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims or even atheists whose bigotry is unlikely to manifest in a mixed marriage.
Mr. Jagjit Singh sounds outraged at Israel's gross human rights violations, & that is admirable.But what Mr. Singh fails to ALSO acknowledge are TWO FACTS: the EVERYDAY constant rocket attacks by the hizbullah regime in Palestine AND the billions of dollars America has sent to the PLO which show NO SIGNS of proper appropriations. All that money was sent to Yasser Arafat for the uplift of his people. But the PLO brass only uplifted themselves: Arafat's wife & daughter were shipped off to some fancy suburb in France, wearing couture clothes whilst the Palestine people live in slums WORSE, I THINK than those in india.I lived in New York during 9/11 & saw the hatred of EXTREMISTS and terrorists on that day. Hezbullah IS ALL OF THOSE. Lobbying rockets into Israel on a daily basis gives Israel the RIGHT to protect it's citizens. Unlike us & our namby-pamby ways, they fight fire with fire: they walk in with their tanks & guns & settle the problem once & for all. THEY TOO HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST.But then I'm sure Mr. Jagjit Singh would enjoy living under Sharia laws: because that's basically what the extremists (or terrorists: call them what you may) want of the world.I am, under no circumstances, condoning Israel's acts of atrocities on the Palestine people. But the fact remains that those people chose their leadership (EXTREMISTS & TERRORISTS in the form of Hezbullah; Hamas are no angels either) & they just have to live with it or renounce them; they won't renounce the leadership, because TYPICAL of terrorist organizations, they have a "charity" wing that gives hospital "services" & keep the loyalty of the people: CASE IN POINT: the Taliban in Pakistan in the recent flood situation, assisting in flood relief.Who are we trying to kid when we point a finger at someone? Remember when a finger is pointed at someone, THERE ARE 3 POINTING BACK AT YOU. It is time to stop being namby-pamby with terrorists.It is because of the lack of being whimps that Israel has managed to exist AND flourish amidst the constant barrage of rocket fire. From the day of THEIR EXISTENCE (like Pakistan is with India), they've had to face terrorism: starting with the PLO & the other Arab states who want nothing more than the inhilation of Israel. What makes these states any different from Hitler?For years India's politicians denounced Israel because of the country's friendship with Egypt. But the 7 day war was probably an eye opener for them & the rest of the world.
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